A little backstory first. In 1st grade, my mom went to parent teacher night and my teacher pulled out a stack of unfinished work and told my mom, “She’s going to be an artist”. Not, ‘Your kid is stupid’ not ‘she’s falling behind’ I was just an artist in the making. This teacher was a little bit of a wackadoodle herself. In 2nd grade, my teacher recommended my parents get me tested and let me start drinking coffee. What we learned that year was I don’t like coffee, wall push ups are stupid, I highly recommend putting giant rubber bands around your feet, and I have ADD. Not even the fun one. Unfocused and boring. At least the ADHDs have the hyperactive bit to keep them busy. In 3rd grade I had a teacher that held kids very accountable. It was probably the best school year for me. Not the funest…but pros and cons. It was all downhill from there. The final catalyst for me deciding to try hard drugs (adderall) was having to drop out of my math class last semester and knowing that when I retake it, my class will still be online. I had to drag myself through the last math class I took in high school ~3 years ago, and I am going to drag myself through this one.
So on to last week. Day 1 was weird. I was told that I wouldn’t have an appetite and I wouldn’t be able to sleep. That was not the case for me. I was eating fine, I was a tad more sleepy than usual (that could have been because I hadn’t slept well in a while) and I didn’t feel any faster than usual. At least not until over 5 hours later when it should have worn off. I knew that I felt a little more ADD then my baseline, but nothing that I haven’t been whilst unmedicated. Towards the end of the day while I was hanging out talking with my dad, I felt like I was talking a little fast (but I wasn’t going to say anything), and eventually he let me know that I sounded pretty fast to him too (maybe this is why they call it speed). Throughout the rest of the week, the “speedy” effects were less and less, and I was safe the entire time because none of it were things I haven’t done au naturel.
My theory is that day 1 I wasn’t super ADD and so it made me ADD. And since I haven’t been having a regular interesting, in-depth, discussion/debate with people who go on and on and on recently (The kind of discussion that makes me think, hold on to thoughts, and attempt to manipulate those thoughts instead of just lose them) I was out of practice (my brain was extra out of shape if you will).
We’ll see how week 2 goes. I’m supposed to go up tp 10mg from 5 and then at the end of the week go see my doctor again.
**unedited and probably grammatically garbage**